INFINITY Calories Per Dollar – AKA Free Food

Happy Thanksgiving! Fun topic for this week, don’t take it too seriously.

We are looking for sources of Infinity Calories Per Dollar or as most people will call it, free food.

Quick Math:

1 Calorie / 0$ = infinity

(technically this doesn’t equal infinity, but rather approaches infinity however – no calculus until after dinner)

Originally I thought this was going to be silly – telling people to eat sugar at their local coffee store, but I think there is something fascinating about

  1. How much time people will spend for free food
  2. Companies advertise to you in exchange for food
  3. How the easiest sources of free food are the least nutritious

I often see engineer’s cubicles have this printed:

>Fast
>Cheap
>Good

Pick Two

Given those, there are all sorts of ways to classify each ‘deal’.

Free Sources

  • Socially acceptable
    Infinity Calories Per Dollar
    Infinity Calories Per Dollar
    • Work food
      • Donuts/Snacks/Baked goods
      • Events
      • Team Lunches
    • Free Samples
      • Costco/Sams Club
      • Mail in samples
      • Free after Rebate
  • Work
    • Gardening
    • Hunting/Trapping
    • Foraging
    • Begging
    • Volunteer opportunities
  • Illegal/Immoral
    • Theft
    • Unnecessarily going to a food bank
  • Not actually free, but an incentive
    • Buy One Get One Free
    • Coupons
    • Reward programs
    • Birthday Deals
      • Often involve tipping, or bringing others along to pay full price

Non Free Sources Of Infinity Calories Per Dollar (Theoretical)

These assume either Sunk Cost, or Calories are infinite (infinity/30$ is still tending towards infinity)

  • All-You-Can-Eat
  • Free Refills
  • Taking receipt surveys
    • Costs money at point of service
  • Wedding/party food
    • You were going to go to the wedding anyway
  • Restaurant Freebies
    • Sugar Packets
    • Coffee Creamers
    • Ketchup/Condiment Packets
    • Candy/Mints
    • Parmesan packets from Pizza Places
      • Shoutout to Jaci who said you can use this to make a ‘good enough’ grilled cheese
    • Salsa +Chips
    • Bread + Olive Oil
    • Free Refills on Drinks

 

 

Right away, there are a few things that caught my attention:

There is a fine line between frugal and theft, I don’t feel bad about taking an extra few sugar packets, but I don’t think its right to take all of the sugar packets.

Deals are misleading

  • Buy one get one free, is not actually free.
  • Coupons/rewards usually require an expensive upfront cost.

Unless you are walking to a location, gasoline costs money.

There is time cost to doing any of these. How often do you drive by the place you have a coupon on the way home from work?

 

Final Takeaways

Upon doing this I decided – its SOOO much easier, tastier, and healthier to just cook food.

We eat for ~3$/day and personally, I’d put more time into looking for a higher paying job before signing up for Red Robin Birthday Coupons.

My exception is Work Food and Sunk Cost when they are healthy. I’ve outgrown work’s weekly donuts, but I’m a sucker for protein filled sandwiches. Regarding the chips and salsa, I can’t tell if I love salsa or I love getting Infinity Calories Per Dollar.

Don’t take this topic too seriously, its a fun little exception when math extremes intersects with life. Hope you enjoyed some quirky math this week. Next time, Caffeine per Dollar, I hope I dont kill anyone….

Do you have any places you get free food? Comment below and I’ll do the data science.

   

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3 thoughts on “INFINITY Calories Per Dollar – AKA Free Food

  1. Ketchup packets and free water at mcdonalds, Tomato soup! And it tastes great! People don’t realize exactly how many calories you can get out of ketchup. It is magical.

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